The Human Side of High Performance : Article 4

When Confidence Goes Missing

What do people have to fall back on when confidence disappears?

We talk a lot about confidence in high performance. We want confident leaders, confident teams, confident decision makers, confident performers but confidence is fragile.

It can disappear remarkably quickly- one poor presentation, a missed target, difficult board meeting, a piece of unexpected feedback, a promotion that goes to someone else or a mistake in front of people whose opinions matter. Suddenly, someone who appeared completely confident begins questioning themselves- Am I actually good enough?

This is where I believe we can sometimes misunderstand confidence. Confidence is often built on evidence- I've done this before, I've been successful & I know I can do it......but what happens when the evidence temporarily disappears ? Elite sport gives us a fascinating window into this.

An athlete can be performing brilliantly and feel almost unstoppable then injury happens, form disappears, selection changes and a mistake costs the team. Suddenly the same athlete, with exactly the same capability, can look completely different. Their ability hasn't disappeared but their confidence has. This is why the best coaches don't simply try to make athletes "feel more confident." , they help them reconnect with something deeper. Belief.

Belief says: I know who I am, even when today didn't go well, I know what I'm capable of, even when I'm not currently demonstrating it, I trust the work I've done, I know one result doesn't define me.

That distinction matters enormously in leadership because people will lose confidence at some time or another, it's inevitable. Especially in organisations experiencing change, growth or pressure.

People are being asked to do things they haven't done before: Make bigger decisions, lead larger teams, speak in different rooms, take more responsibility, operate without all the answers and sometimes they will get it wrong. It's leadership response in those moments matters the most.

Some leaders unintentionally reinforce the doubt, they focus entirely on the mistake, become visibly disappointed, take responsibility away, they step in or they start micromanaging. The message the individual receives is: "Perhaps they don't believe I can do this either."

The strongest leaders do something different- they don't ignore poor performance, they don't offer empty reassurance and they don't lower the standard. They help the person separate 'what happened' from 'who they are'- "That didn't go the way you wanted, let's understand why."- "What would you do differently next time?, "What did you learn?" & "What support do you need?"

And perhaps most importantly: "I still believe you can do this."

Sometimes we borrow belief from other people before we can find it again ourselves: from a coach, a colleague, a mentor or a leader. Someone who sees capability in us at the exact moment we've temporarily stopped seeing it ourselves. That is an incredibly powerful part of leadership.

Not creating dependency or constantly reassuring, but a holding belief in someone's potential whilst helping them build the evidence to believe it themselves. Confidence built entirely on success is vulnerable and the first significant failure can shake it. Belief built through preparation, values, experience, reflection and trusted relationships is much harder to dislodge.

Perhaps this is why the best leaders don't only build people's confidence when things are going well but they build their capacity to recover when things aren't. They remind people of previous challenges they've overcome, help them recognise their strengths, give them opportunities to practise and provide honest feedback. They create psychological safety around learning and then they give responsibility back.

There is another side to this. You cannot build someone's belief while constantly rescuing them.

At some point, leaders have to say: "You've got this." and then allow them to discover that they have. That's where belief becomes internal, where resilience grows and that's where people begin to rely less on external validation and more on their own evidence of who they are and what they can do. Perhaps that's one of the greatest things a leader can give someone- not confidence, but the conditions in which they can build their own.

Performance follows people.

Leadership changes how people feel. People change performance.

So perhaps our job as leaders isn't to create people who never doubt themselves.

It's to create people who know what to do when they do.

When someone in your team loses confidence, does your response reinforce their doubt, or help them rediscover their belief?

At PROBOS we believe leadership is not becoming simpler. But it can become clearer.

We help leaders navigate complexity with clarity and confidence.